direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
