wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
