Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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