If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
