is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
