You made me cry and you don't even care
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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