"it" just moved
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
