goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
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