Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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