did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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