North Korea, Best Korea!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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