State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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