Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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