And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
