In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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