Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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