That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dignity is for republicans.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
