I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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