i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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