i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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