sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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