I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
