My brain says no but my pants say off.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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