the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
