drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
