remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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