It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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