my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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