I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
