You're so nebulous sometimes
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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