2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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