What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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