there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
