i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
