I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
