god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize