It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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