SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
