No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Be still, my beating vagina.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
