Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
