OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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