I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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