I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
