I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dignity is for republicans.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
