Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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