clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
