I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
