I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
