I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
