Non-Jews are for practice
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
