I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
