2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize