Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
