In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
