Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
