I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
