i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
