even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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